“We all think we want justice, but what we really seek is mercy.” I have told you before that this is what one of my college professors used to say to us all the time. Often this kind of talk was used when this was due or that test grade came out or some such thing. Students would argue some unfairness but the truth was that usually what they were arguing was not that the system be fair but that they get a little more time or one little break or . . .well you know how these things go. The professor was actually quite a compassionate man. I remember I had signed on to present a paper early on one semester, I wanted to go first but I gave myself not enough time to finish. The day came and I asked for mercy, he granted it. But he would never listen to arguments about fairness. He knew he was fair. So he would be more than fair. He was willing to give mercy but he wanted his students to understand that they had not received what they deserved, they had received far better than they deserved.

This was easy for any of us to forget except that he would always remind us, especially if we started to argue fairness.

It is universal. In my dealings with human beings I have found that everyone loves mercy, we all want to bask in Grace but we have some reluctance admitting that it is Grace. We would rather believe that it is fair, it is deserved. Whatever it is.

Conner often employs this illogical logic when speaking with Abbie. To hear him talk one might assume that one of his great accomplishments in life so far is that he turned four. (Of course he has done far more amazing things than that but that is not as apparent to him as it is to his parents.) And having turned four he was finally allowed to have gum. His mother would not allow any gum until he was four, and as of last April 20 he has been allowed to chew gum. That is why turning four has been such a highlight for him. And he takes this tone with his sister, “You can’t have gum Abbie, only I can have gum because I’m four. You’re not four yet Abbie, so you can’t have gum.” Conner lord’s his right to have gum over his sister. And the truth is that he thinks of it as a right because he is four. At least his howling when we say “no” to his request for gum would indicate that he thinks of it as his God given right. He thinks it is his right but it is only the Grace of his parents that allows for him to have this delectable treat. And he can argue all he wants but fairness is not the issue. The issue is whether or not his parents are feeling like giving him gum.

Grace is not deserved-ness, it isn’t because we have a right to it, and it isn’t because of some need for God to be fair. Grace is freely given outside of what we deserve or think is fair or believe is our right.

And four-year-olds are not the only ones who don’t understand this. As I said this is a human trait, a very well ingrained human trait.

This ingrained human trait gives life to a hope that most of us have. That hope is that we deserve all of God’s Graciousness. In North America this is especially true. I have heard many people say that they have worked very hard for every thing that they have and so deserve to enjoy the fruits of their labor. I don’t begrudge anyone this thought. I just wish it were so for everyone. There are whole sections of the world that even if you work your butt off morning noon and night you will not escape poverty. I know I have seen many such people who have incredible work ethics, who work much harder than anyone in this country. Who will never know more than a hut with a couple of rooms and a dirt floor. In Nicaragua it is so. They suffer not from some kind of deficiency of ability or motivation; they suffer mostly from being born in Nicaragua. And they do not have the same opportunities that any of us in this country have. We may think that we deserve al that we have, and all that we own, and every success but it is more God’s good Grace that we have received. And I don’t think it is fair. I don’t think it is our right either. It is mostly our good fortune that has given to us all this material wealth.

Now I mention this not to make any of us feel guilty or ashamed or unable to enjoy what we have been given. That is not an appropriate response. And I think guilt and shame are mostly a waste of time. But I do mention this trait, this hunger to be deserving, because I think it robs people of real understanding and faith all the time.

It is essential to the life of faith to find gratitude. Gratitude solves so many of the difficulties and troubles that we face every day. I once heard a preacher say that if you couldn’t find something to be grateful for you were sunk. I believe it to be true. If you are not grateful for your life you must be feeling that there is not enough there to be grateful for. Somehow you have been given less than is right, less than you deserve, less than what you want. To have that attitude is to face a life of terrible suffering. But if you can be grateful then you understand at least some of the bounty that you have been given. Then life is a wonderful joy ride, start, right to the finish.

You can’t be grateful if you think that you are solely responsible for your good fortune. You can’t see the abundance that God has given if you think you are the one responsible for your health, wealth, and well being. Of course it is somewhat comforting to think that is totally up to each individual to secure that which is good. But the truth is that in this world that each of us has a fairly limited capacity to achieve the abundant life. I know that sounds like a radical statement but it is not.

Who here did anything to be born into this world? Who here was able to secure life for his or her self? Who here is able to consciously keep their heart pumping, maintain the complexities that makes up for life within your body? And yet without that what are you? Who here can make the sun come up tomorrow or keep this planet spinning? Who here can make the rains come, or manufacture enough oxygen to breathe? And yet without these where would we be?

It all comes to us not because of anything we have done but by the good grace of God. And that is something to be grateful for. Eternally, exceedingly grateful for?

But somehow we forget about abundance all that we see and understand after awhile are the limitations to this incredible abundance. And those limitations rob us of the gratitude that would truly give us the lives of abundance we want.

We see death and think it is terribly wrong. And yet death is a direct result of the glorious gift of life. No life, no death. But would any of us choose to not live simply because we will die? Is it better to have some life than no life at all? We all know of children with troubles and problems that they were born with but would we ever say that it would be better if this child were ever born? Or more to the point, because this can happen it is better for there to be no life at all then for a child to be born with a problem?

You see we get all confused. We don’t fathom the depth of God’s Grace and we greatly over estimate our own deservedness. And that is a mix that can only end in disillusionment.

Jesus did a miracle. It had to do with an amazing amount of food for a large amount of people. No one assembled there understood the Grace that was present and possible at that moment, except Jesus. It has been suggested that Jesus did not magically produce more loaves and more fishes but that through giving he inspired others to give. I say it does not matter which it was the point was that in what looked to be a situation where there was great wanting, Jesus saw the abundance that there was. And if you read your scripture closely he gave thanks for the abundance that there was even though he was the only one to perceive it and the miracle was then accomplished. Want was turned to abundance by giving thanks for the Grace that though not apparent was real to Jesus because of his faith.