“God’s Latest Appearance”
      Isaiah 6:1-8 and Luke 5:1-11 

In the early winter of 2004 I went before the Committee on the Church and Ministry in the Potomac Association of the UCC.  I had started Divinity School in the fall of 2002 not certain what I would do when I finished.  I had reached the conclusion that I was ready to do something other than practice law. Not that I hated it -- I didn’t and look back on my 30 years as a practicing lawyer with satisfaction. Yet by 2002 I needed to do something else -- to find a new way of making a difference that would bring me more inner satisfaction. But I wasn’t totally clear where my new vocational direction would take me.

I thought about teaching law and ethics – how we as a society might change our structure and laws to help decent folks make better ethical decisions. I had spent much of my time over the prior 15 years doing internal investigations into allegations of major wrongdoing for corporate boards of directors. I had encountered some truly bad people -- real crooks -- but I had also met others -- not evil or bad -- who had been leaned on to do things they knew or suspected were wrong and potentially criminal. They did these things -- falsifying inventory and accelerating revenue recognition among other fraudulent things -- because they had mortgages and/or tuition to pay. They also knew that a whistleblower has little chance of landing on his or her feet.

By the middle of my second year in Divinity School however, I had begun to take an interest in parish ministry. I liked my Bible courses in seminary and my time as a student minister in a local church. So I decided to go “in care” – the first step to becoming ordained to a pastoral position.

To be taken “in care” one must go before a local UCC committee on ministry. While this process is not a mere formality, few are ever turned down. On top of that I had been a member for 6 years of same committee. I knew many on the committee well. I flew to DC confident that my interview would go well, because after all I had been on the other side of the process and I knew the players. The interview was progressing just as I had hoped until the end. At that point the late John Mack, a minister who I knew well and liked (Peter Dennebaum’s predecessor) and a no nonsense, yet compassionate guy – said “OK, Tom you have been quite articulate but I don’t feel you are really committed to ministry. I think you have at best just one foot in the water. You need to figure out whether you are really called to this vocation. And when we see you a year from now for our annual follow-up interview, you need to be able to answer that question of call decisively and with commitment. You need to convince us that you want to jump in fully.” With that the committee unanimously took me “in care”. But I left thinking, “some friend John turned out to be!” But over time I found he was right. I wasn’t fully committed. I still toyed with this option and that -- maybe I would get a joint degree from the Kennedy School or perhaps I would stay on and get my doctorate? I was keeping my options open.

The question of being “called” is something most of us don’t think about. I certainly didn’t for most of my life. The word “call” invoked at least in me thoughts of being asked to come forward for an altar call during a worship service publically to confess my faith. That certainly wasn’t my cup of tea. Perhaps that is your reaction too.

But I think we are uncomfortable with the concept of call for other reasons as well. Each of today’s scripture readings is a call narrative: the first, the call of the prophet Isaiah; and the second, the call of Peter, John and James the first disciples. These passages follow a traditional biblical “call” sequence. They start with a fantastic or other worldly encounter with God. In Isaiah’s case it is a remarkable vision of winged seraph’s in a throne room with the Lord of hosts on the throne. In Simon Peter’s case, it is the miraculous catch of fish after a fruitless night of fishing. In both cases there is a divine call directed to the unsuspecting individual.  Modern folks like us simply can’t imagine a similar event in our lives. Dreams and fantasies are not real. Unexpected miracles can be explained – perhaps it was the appearance of a migrating school of fish that lead to the unexpected catch. Most of us cannot imagine a moment in time in which we are in the presence of God -- let alone being called by God to do something.

But I submit a call is not necessarily a moment of divine mystery intruding into and changing our lives. To be sure for some there is a special moment -- for example, looking into the face of a homeless child on the streets of Calcutta -- when they feel God’s presence and a divine call to serve. But for most people -- certainly for me -- it is not a special moment but a long process.  It is a process of understanding oneself, and discovering one’s skills and gifts. But it is not just taking an inventory of skills – of figuring out what we are good at --- though certainly that is relevant. But fundamentally, it is not just about skills. One can have wonderful analytical skills but not be called to be lawyer or have a gift for math but not feel called to be an engineer.

The question of call is both analytical and experiential. Catherine of Siena wrote that discernment of one’s call is nothing else but the true knowledge a soul ought to have of herself and of God.  It is when God and self converge. How do we know when that happens? It is reflected in a sense of joy and fulfillment. Those of us who have labored successfully at jobs and careers know that success is not the measure of that congruence of God and self. There are many successful people with money and power who feel little joy and even less fulfillment, when they allow themselves to reflect on their life.

I can hear some of you saying to yourself “I’m not called by God – I don’t want to do something religious with my life.” Too often we think of a calling as something religious – to be a prophet, as Isaiah was, or to be a disciple like Simon Peter or even to be called to be an ordained minister. Of course not all of us are to be disciples or even clergy. A wise minister once asked a young doctor worried about his calling – “Do you find satisfaction and joy in treating and caring for people?” To which the young doctor replied that he did. Then the minster said “then accept it as your calling and be the best and most faithful doctor you can be. God calls you to be no more or no less than that”

The key to finding your calling is in understanding self – to discover what you are good at and what gives you satisfaction and then you can use that self knowledge to serve God.  In the early 1800s there was a man named Lewis Tappan. He was energetic and hardworking and an abolitionist who lived and worked in New York City. The famous Amistad mutiny occurred in the late 1830s when mutinying African slaves destined for Cuba were held in this country while the slave owners sought their return. Tappan with several others collected funds for their legal defense that lead ultimately to the decision of the Supreme Court, ordering the release of the slaves enabling their safe return to Africa. Why do I tell this story because Tappan also founded the company that became Dun and Bradstreet. To be called is not simply about vocation but also about that to which you devote your time and energy. We are living out our calling --when what we do and what God would want us to do intersect. That can happen in the home, the classroom, the board room or the church. And while I can’t give you a set of keys for knowing when self and God converge – from my own experience you will know it by a powerful feeling that you are doing what you ought to be doing. 

Personally, I think our friends and loved ones, even strangers, often know before we do what we are called to do.  I will always cherish the remarks one man made to me as I wrestled with my call. I met him in the hospital when he was a patient and I was a chaplain intern. This older man had been a Catholic high school principal but was now estranged from his church because of the church/clergy scandals. Painfully he confessed that he had not taken communion for years. We talked and prayed. I mentioned my expectation that his church would, as it had over the centuries, find ways to respond to and learn from its recent mistakes and troubles and would move forward in renewal. I told him that I hoped he might find a way to reconnect with his church despite its problems. I saw him again a day later. He was visibly pleased as he was leaving the hospital with an upbeat prognosis. He then told me he had taken communion that morning for the first time in 5 years. And with a twinkle in his eye he said to me “you know you would have made a helleva priest.” With the help of that comment and my own musings, I began to accept that perhaps I was called to ministry.  

Finally, every call narrative contains one additional element.  The person called -- protests and claims they are unworthy of the call. In every case God rejects the protestation, forgives past sins and empowers the one being called. What should we take from this? It is, I think, that we need not feel ill-equipped to serve God -- we all have gifts and talents the world needs. And further it is never too late to find one’s calling. Thomas Merton in his book, No Man Is An Island, observes that the discovery of call is not “a sphinx’s riddle, which we solve in one guess or perish.”[1] My response was and is “thank God”. It is never too late to find one’s calling. Maybe it will be an avocation – not your paying job -- that offers a chance at joy and fulfillment. It might be in coaching a youth team, leading service trips, making hats for the troops, or reading books for the visually impaired. The point is we are all called by God. Sometimes as in my case it is a long process with fits and starts to discover it, but rest assured, all of us have a calling which can bring us fulfillment and joy. That is the place where self and God meet --giving us the strength, courage and vision to serve our neighbors near and far and in that way to serve God.     Amen